Monday 25 December 2017

Flaxen's Annual Christmas Address



Tis Christmastide once again. A wondrous time of year when all wars cease, strife is no more and men of all nations come together as one, in harmonious accord.

Families assemble and embark on jolly festivities. Laughter will resonate throughout the abode. Crackers will be pulled and choral harmonies will spontaneously erupt. All will partake of Christmas fayre and no one will drink to excess, limiting their imbibing to a small eggnog and a sweet sherry.

The family will gather around the tree (50 quid from Aldis) and receive gifts according to intrinsic merit. Said gifts will be ornately wrapped in the finest apparel and quaintly tied with ribbons of finest spun gold- no underpants or cheap aftershave shall besmirch the happy occasion.


For myself, I will spend the day with my family, sweltering in the New Zealand summer heat. So gentle readers have fun, be well acquainted, and don't burn down your neighbour's house in a fit of misplaced pique (Arse).  


9 comments:

  1. "...don't burn down your neighbour's house in a fit of misplaced pique..."

    Does that mean it's OK if the pique is not misplaced?

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    1. To be honest, Ted, as it is Christmas, it is probably best to wait until Boxing day- then burn down the neighbourhood. Arse.

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  2. Forecast for us in Wellington tomorrow is 16 degrees C, hardly sweltering!

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    1. Indeed, Unknown, I was trying to inject a little magic into the secnario- tis Christmas, after all......

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  3. Serves you right for having your Summer in wintertime...

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    1. The sad thing is that weather before Christmas had been glorious......

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  4. Replies
    1. Apparently James, the West Midlands is swamped with snow. Frankly, I miss the snow- it never snows in Wellington. Makes me sad and moves me to burn down disused buildings. But Welligton is not Detroit.....

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